From Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing by Po Bronson & Ashley Merriman

We need to make a distinction between adaptive competitiveness and maladaptive competitiveness. Adaptive competitiveness is chracterized by perseverance and determination to rise to the challenge, but it's bounded by an abiding respect for the rules. It's the ability to feel genuine satisfaction at having put in a worthy effort, even if you lose. People with adaptive competitiveness don't have to be the best at everything-they only strive to be the best in the domain they train for. They might be perfectionists at work, but they don't care if they're the worst at tennis and shuffleboard. They are able to defer gratification, meaning they accept that it can take a long time to improve. Healthy competitiveness is marked by constant striving for excellence, but not desperate concerns over rank. It's adaptive competitiveness that leads to the great, heroic performances that inspire us all. The maladaptive variety is what gives competitiveness a bad name. Maladaptive competitiveness is marked by psychological insecurity and displaced urges. It's the individual who can't accept that losing is a part of competing; it's the person who competes when others around him are not competing. He has to be the best at everything, and he can't strop comparing himself to others even when the competition is over. He doesn't stop when the competition is over. He drags others into competitions they don't want to be in, by provoking them. And he will resort to cheating when he can't win. pp. 11-12